I felt impressed to call my husband this morning after yesterday's events. So I did.
It was amazing, but I actually felt his shame over what happened. Knowing him as I do, I realize that it sunk into him what an error in judgement it was. He didn't blow up as he normally would when challenged with his error. Again, all praise be to the Lord Jesus Christ for His goodness. I know that the Lord is working on his heart, doing heart surgery as only He can. He is doing His thing in me too, making me stronger in Him and more loving and caring towards my husband.
I can face today knowing that He is going to come through for me. He will come through for you too if you just ask Him to take over your marriage situation. You can rest assured that it is His will that you remain married, despite all evidence to the contrary. Never mind what your family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, or church members say: Jesus can and will restore your marriage if you let Him. The challenge is that you have to be willing and open to whatever He directs you to do. Trust me, He'll never let you down.
I invite you to let Him into your life. You will never regret it.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Satan sends challenges!
What the devil means for evil, God turns for good! The end is near, I can feel it!
Today my husband brought the kids home and guess who was in the back seat holding our baby? The other woman!
I felt like cussing and wringing her neck but God got a hold of me just in time! I am still angry (blue mad!) because that is going too far! Our kids are never supposed to have contact with any woman he is involved with. There is a limit as to what is acceptable and you don't have to be a Christian to know that you never use children in that way.
Obviously he was trying to show me that he has moved on and he wants to hurt me. It was strategy on his part. However, in his urge to show me up, he chose to use our kids! He does not even see what is wrong with that! He used that girl too. If he really loves her as he claims, he would respect her enough to let her love someone who is free to share his life with her. It's strange how he does not even see that he is doing this girl an injustice by using her for his own gratification. From the look I gave her, she understands that she is NEVER to touch my kids again.
God is soooooo gooooood!
God's Spirit of Peace controlled me in that moment. It's a victory! Praise be to the Lord! By the time he drove off, she was so ashamed she was hiding her face looking as if she wanted to cry. (My baser nature feels it serves her right!) And I never said a word to her! I know the end is coming to that relationship very soon!
It can only be Jesus who is making me feel sympathy for this woman who stole my husband. I am at the point where I see her shamefacedness in my mind's eye and can pray for her to find Jesus. Yesterday I was not at that point. I still wanted to verbally (and physically) abuse her in the worst way. Now I see that she is just lost, allowing herself to be used by the devil. God will save her soon. I'll pray on her behalf.
As for my husband, I see how far he has fallen into Satan's trap. It is my responsibility to pray on his behalf. As WICatholic commented, after this life he still has to face the hereafter. I want to share heaven and eternity with my loved ones.So my first ministry is my home. If I don't pray for his salvation, who will?
Today my husband brought the kids home and guess who was in the back seat holding our baby? The other woman!
I felt like cussing and wringing her neck but God got a hold of me just in time! I am still angry (blue mad!) because that is going too far! Our kids are never supposed to have contact with any woman he is involved with. There is a limit as to what is acceptable and you don't have to be a Christian to know that you never use children in that way.
Obviously he was trying to show me that he has moved on and he wants to hurt me. It was strategy on his part. However, in his urge to show me up, he chose to use our kids! He does not even see what is wrong with that! He used that girl too. If he really loves her as he claims, he would respect her enough to let her love someone who is free to share his life with her. It's strange how he does not even see that he is doing this girl an injustice by using her for his own gratification. From the look I gave her, she understands that she is NEVER to touch my kids again.
God is soooooo gooooood!
God's Spirit of Peace controlled me in that moment. It's a victory! Praise be to the Lord! By the time he drove off, she was so ashamed she was hiding her face looking as if she wanted to cry. (My baser nature feels it serves her right!) And I never said a word to her! I know the end is coming to that relationship very soon!
It can only be Jesus who is making me feel sympathy for this woman who stole my husband. I am at the point where I see her shamefacedness in my mind's eye and can pray for her to find Jesus. Yesterday I was not at that point. I still wanted to verbally (and physically) abuse her in the worst way. Now I see that she is just lost, allowing herself to be used by the devil. God will save her soon. I'll pray on her behalf.
As for my husband, I see how far he has fallen into Satan's trap. It is my responsibility to pray on his behalf. As WICatholic commented, after this life he still has to face the hereafter. I want to share heaven and eternity with my loved ones.So my first ministry is my home. If I don't pray for his salvation, who will?
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Standing: what is it?
"STANDING" - Choosing to live by God's Word in spite of seemingly insurmountable circumstances. Choosing to believe God for healing and restoration instead of bowing to the world's 'solution' (divorce). Praying for the salvation of one's spouse and for God's spirit of forgiveness to imbue one's life.
"STANDER" - One who has chosen to STAND for marriage in spite of a mate who has chosen to depart...standing on the truth of the Word of God which says God created marriage as a till-death-relationship.
When you choose to stand for a marriage that is obviously failing or even dead, you must willingly give up all your 'rights' to criticize, condemn, complain about or to your spouse. You must let go ALL ASPECTS of the marriage into God's hands, acknowledging that without Him, there can be no restoration. You must first allow God to come into your heart and cleanse you of all the anger, rage, bitterness towards your mate so that you can intercede on his/her behalf.
Standing requires courage and conviction to hold your head high when your family, friends, acquaintances, and especially your spouse tell you to give up and move on with your life. You must let God lead your every step. Choose to believe His Word rather than the world.
A STANDER'S AFFIRMATION
I AM STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!... I will not give up, give in, give out or give over 'til that healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words... in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad...so I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down 'til the breakdown is torn down!
I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous... nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God's real thing, nor will I seek to lower God's standard, twist God's will, rewrite God's word, violate God's covenant, or accept what God hates, namely divorce!
In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God's faithfulness.
I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit.. I have made the choice, set my face, entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted God for all the outcome.
I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up 'til my marriage is healed.
"STANDER" - One who has chosen to STAND for marriage in spite of a mate who has chosen to depart...standing on the truth of the Word of God which says God created marriage as a till-death-relationship.
When you choose to stand for a marriage that is obviously failing or even dead, you must willingly give up all your 'rights' to criticize, condemn, complain about or to your spouse. You must let go ALL ASPECTS of the marriage into God's hands, acknowledging that without Him, there can be no restoration. You must first allow God to come into your heart and cleanse you of all the anger, rage, bitterness towards your mate so that you can intercede on his/her behalf.
Standing requires courage and conviction to hold your head high when your family, friends, acquaintances, and especially your spouse tell you to give up and move on with your life. You must let God lead your every step. Choose to believe His Word rather than the world.
A STANDER'S AFFIRMATION
I AM STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!... I will not give up, give in, give out or give over 'til that healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words... in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad...so I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down 'til the breakdown is torn down!
I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous... nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God's real thing, nor will I seek to lower God's standard, twist God's will, rewrite God's word, violate God's covenant, or accept what God hates, namely divorce!
In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God's faithfulness.
I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit.. I have made the choice, set my face, entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted God for all the outcome.
I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up 'til my marriage is healed.
- Author Unknown
Why I stand
I know that I am taking a very controversial stand here, and trust me, it certainly is not the easiest thing in the world. Almost everyone – family, friends, society, even my own ego and sense of dignity – seems to be against this. However, I have chosen to stand by God’s Word, which is clear on this issue.
My husband of seven years has chosen to leave our home in pursuit of another woman, whom he claims to love so much that he is willing to give up all sorts of things for. He does not love me anymore and wants a divorce. He has even filed papers to that end. He rarely calls me, not even to speak to the kids and he hardly ever sees them except in passing. He claims to be comfortable with the life he has chosen and sees no reason to change what is a happy position for him.
Do I believe him? Yes, I do. I know he is telling the truth about how he feels. Certainly we have had more than our share of problems from day one. I am not claiming to be innocent in this matter at all. I’ve made my contribution to the breakdown of our marriage in more ways than one. Now, when I’m feeling low, there is great anger and hatred towards him that would surely cause his immediate demise were it released. For certain I feel that no matter my faults, I do not deserve this type of treatment at his hands. I know I did not do anything to merit such emotional abuse.
Does it hurt? You have no idea! Pain is my constant companion and don’t let anyone tell you that a broken heart does not hurt physically. It aches like … I can’t even describe it. Not only do I have to deal with my own pain, but also my kids’. They make no bones about placing all responsibility for their daddy being gone squarely on my shoulders. They’re just six and four years old, so their reasoning is immature, but it sure hurts to hear them say it. It’s unfair to say the least. I’m the one who has made all the effort to save this marriage, and that beast is coming out like a wounded hero!! Just thinking about it makes me want to howl at the injustice of it all.
Why am I telling you all of this? To let you know that I do not take this choice lightly and how much it is costing me. I have to fight myself every day from just giving in and “freeing” myself from this untenable situation. Surely it would be easier to just move on with my life. After all, you can’t force someone to love you. They still have their freedom of choice.
From what I’ve written so far, it must seem that I am admitting that I’m in a no-win situation. It certainly seems that way, doesn’t it? But after realizing that any and everything I could do will inevitably fail (think crash and burn!), I’ve now come up with a solution to all our problems.
Prayer.
That’s it. One word.
I could beg my husband to come back home on my knees. I could cry all day and all night (and I have many times). I could curse him and spew every rotten word I know or have heard (and I know a lot!). I could appeal to his fatherly instincts and talk about the children. And I’m sure you can think of myriads of other things I could do. But to what avail?
To be honest, I don’t even want him back in the state he’s in now. I deserve a man who loves me and who keeps his word. Were he to come back now it would only be a matter of time before he’s back to his old ways again, and who wants that? Certainly not me! Right now, he is a feckless, selfish sod who only cares about getting his kicks with the flavour of the month. And that woman – well, you tell me what kind of woman does not mind that she’s sleeping with another woman’s husband? What kind of woman blithely ignores the pain she is causing to innocent children? A homewrecking bimbo, that’s who! Right now, both of them deserve each other!
However, I’m not leaving it like that. I mentioned a solution, didn’t I? What my marriage needs is not a divorce but a Divine Force. God’s Word is clear on the matter of the sanctity of marriage and how he feels about divorce. In Malachi 2:11 – 16, God clearly states that He hates (abhors, loathes, detests, finds reprehensible) divorce. You can’t get much plainer than that! He even goes so far as to liken the marital relationship to how He feels about the Church. Marriage was instituted before the Sabbath. It was meant to be for life.
We ‘modern’ humans think we know so much! We’ve made great scientific advances and gargantuan strides in technology, but in the supposedly simplest matters of all, of dealing with one another, we’re abject failures. That’s because we fail to acknowledge the One who made us. We’ve become so high-minded that it’s now unfashionable and ‘country bookie’ to mention God and His goodness. At least in company.
I choose to believe God. He alone can restore my marriage. I am wholly prepared to do WHATEVER He tells me to. I don’t even ask anymore if standing for my marriage is His will. How can it not be! If He hates divorce, He must love marriage. It therefore, stands to reason that He will do what is necessary to save and completely transform my marriage. He’ll make it even better than the best of before. I wholeheartedly believe that!
Let’s face it: what my husband needs now is Jesus. Whether he acknowledges it or not, he is in desperate need of salvation. What I am doing is not to thwart his free will (although I’ll admit it’s a nice side benefit!) but praying for God to save him from himself. Left to his own devices he’ll come to regret what he’s doing sooner or later. Statistics clearly show that more than 95% of these relationships NEVER work out. But by then it will be too late to save our marriage. There’ll be nothing to save because we would have been divorced a long time ago. The kids would be a mess emotionally and our young baby would have no real relationship with her father. As for me, most likely I’d be either remarried or seeing someone else.
Divorce is not a solution, it’s a cop-out. The only real solution, the only successful alternative is Jesus. He’s the One who made marriage, so He’s the only One who can save marriages. I give my marriage to Him. He cares about my marriage even more than I do so He will do whatever He has to to save it. I can’t change my husband. I can’t even really change myself. Only Jesus can do that. So while I pray for Him to do His marvelous work in my husband’s life, I also pray for Him to change me as well. He has to make me into the woman He wants me to be for His glory.
“Make haste, O God, to deliver me!Make haste to help me, O Lord!”
(Psalm 70:1)
My husband of seven years has chosen to leave our home in pursuit of another woman, whom he claims to love so much that he is willing to give up all sorts of things for. He does not love me anymore and wants a divorce. He has even filed papers to that end. He rarely calls me, not even to speak to the kids and he hardly ever sees them except in passing. He claims to be comfortable with the life he has chosen and sees no reason to change what is a happy position for him.
Do I believe him? Yes, I do. I know he is telling the truth about how he feels. Certainly we have had more than our share of problems from day one. I am not claiming to be innocent in this matter at all. I’ve made my contribution to the breakdown of our marriage in more ways than one. Now, when I’m feeling low, there is great anger and hatred towards him that would surely cause his immediate demise were it released. For certain I feel that no matter my faults, I do not deserve this type of treatment at his hands. I know I did not do anything to merit such emotional abuse.
Does it hurt? You have no idea! Pain is my constant companion and don’t let anyone tell you that a broken heart does not hurt physically. It aches like … I can’t even describe it. Not only do I have to deal with my own pain, but also my kids’. They make no bones about placing all responsibility for their daddy being gone squarely on my shoulders. They’re just six and four years old, so their reasoning is immature, but it sure hurts to hear them say it. It’s unfair to say the least. I’m the one who has made all the effort to save this marriage, and that beast is coming out like a wounded hero!! Just thinking about it makes me want to howl at the injustice of it all.
Why am I telling you all of this? To let you know that I do not take this choice lightly and how much it is costing me. I have to fight myself every day from just giving in and “freeing” myself from this untenable situation. Surely it would be easier to just move on with my life. After all, you can’t force someone to love you. They still have their freedom of choice.
From what I’ve written so far, it must seem that I am admitting that I’m in a no-win situation. It certainly seems that way, doesn’t it? But after realizing that any and everything I could do will inevitably fail (think crash and burn!), I’ve now come up with a solution to all our problems.
Prayer.
That’s it. One word.
I could beg my husband to come back home on my knees. I could cry all day and all night (and I have many times). I could curse him and spew every rotten word I know or have heard (and I know a lot!). I could appeal to his fatherly instincts and talk about the children. And I’m sure you can think of myriads of other things I could do. But to what avail?
To be honest, I don’t even want him back in the state he’s in now. I deserve a man who loves me and who keeps his word. Were he to come back now it would only be a matter of time before he’s back to his old ways again, and who wants that? Certainly not me! Right now, he is a feckless, selfish sod who only cares about getting his kicks with the flavour of the month. And that woman – well, you tell me what kind of woman does not mind that she’s sleeping with another woman’s husband? What kind of woman blithely ignores the pain she is causing to innocent children? A homewrecking bimbo, that’s who! Right now, both of them deserve each other!
However, I’m not leaving it like that. I mentioned a solution, didn’t I? What my marriage needs is not a divorce but a Divine Force. God’s Word is clear on the matter of the sanctity of marriage and how he feels about divorce. In Malachi 2:11 – 16, God clearly states that He hates (abhors, loathes, detests, finds reprehensible) divorce. You can’t get much plainer than that! He even goes so far as to liken the marital relationship to how He feels about the Church. Marriage was instituted before the Sabbath. It was meant to be for life.
We ‘modern’ humans think we know so much! We’ve made great scientific advances and gargantuan strides in technology, but in the supposedly simplest matters of all, of dealing with one another, we’re abject failures. That’s because we fail to acknowledge the One who made us. We’ve become so high-minded that it’s now unfashionable and ‘country bookie’ to mention God and His goodness. At least in company.
I choose to believe God. He alone can restore my marriage. I am wholly prepared to do WHATEVER He tells me to. I don’t even ask anymore if standing for my marriage is His will. How can it not be! If He hates divorce, He must love marriage. It therefore, stands to reason that He will do what is necessary to save and completely transform my marriage. He’ll make it even better than the best of before. I wholeheartedly believe that!
Let’s face it: what my husband needs now is Jesus. Whether he acknowledges it or not, he is in desperate need of salvation. What I am doing is not to thwart his free will (although I’ll admit it’s a nice side benefit!) but praying for God to save him from himself. Left to his own devices he’ll come to regret what he’s doing sooner or later. Statistics clearly show that more than 95% of these relationships NEVER work out. But by then it will be too late to save our marriage. There’ll be nothing to save because we would have been divorced a long time ago. The kids would be a mess emotionally and our young baby would have no real relationship with her father. As for me, most likely I’d be either remarried or seeing someone else.
Divorce is not a solution, it’s a cop-out. The only real solution, the only successful alternative is Jesus. He’s the One who made marriage, so He’s the only One who can save marriages. I give my marriage to Him. He cares about my marriage even more than I do so He will do whatever He has to to save it. I can’t change my husband. I can’t even really change myself. Only Jesus can do that. So while I pray for Him to do His marvelous work in my husband’s life, I also pray for Him to change me as well. He has to make me into the woman He wants me to be for His glory.
“Make haste, O God, to deliver me!Make haste to help me, O Lord!”
(Psalm 70:1)
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